Attracting the right person
So many people have been in this sort of situation – ‘I absolutely long for to find someone – I’ll try online – that seems easy!’, but when they go and start their search, they fall into some major pitfalls!
Right from the moment you register your details online, you are fundamentally promoting yourself!
Everything you compose, the way your photo looks and any video or sound clips are giving away loads of messages that people are often un mindful of.
Quite often I’ve been shown clips from people I’ve coached which seem to give the hidden message ‘I’m desperate!’. Naturally this isn’t what they say , but it’s what comes across.
So here are a few strategies to help you be successful in the online dating game. Some of these come from steps in NLP.
1: Be content with yourselfbefore looking for someone else
A great deal of people start looking for someone to make THEM happy . The most happy people in the dating game are those who are happy with themselves before approachingsomeone else. When we look for somebody else to make us happy, but are completely not happy inside, this gets unaware ly projected onto other people and they pick up mixed signals in our communication.
2: Be confident in you – acknowledge what you are outstanding at and enjoy doing
Confident people radiate charisma. Some people think that we are born with charisma, but it completely is things that might be developed.
There are lots of ways to build courage – one way is to regularly take time to acknowledge your excellent features , abilities and resources . Frequently we ignore the excellent things we do and don’t take the time to build our own courage . Frequently when I work with people seeking hypnotherapy in London to help build their resourcefulness, they come in totally lacking resourcefulness and could absolutely metamorphose their lives within a short space of time when they build their confidence . Take up a sport, get fit, get some hypnotherapy, go on an NLP training or take up public speaking classes – there are lots of ways to develop confidence , but you need to get out there and do it!
3: Write out your profile before it goes live
Draft out your profile and show it together with your photos to several people whose opinion you trust before letting it go ‘live’. Ask them what their initial impressions are and what advice they may give you about what will be changed to attract the sort of person you desire .
4: Be flexible! Don’t be too limited in your choice of the other people !
I have a mate who had such stringent standards as ‘he must have 2 degrees, be hunky and sensitive’ and even could only settle for certain hair colour. She is still looking 5 years later ! Know the features that are most of import to you in another person and make sure your profile attracts this sort of person. But at the same time, make sure you’re not too restrictive in your criteria for finding someone else.
5: Build rapport
We tend to like those people who are most like us. So when initially meeting another person totally take an interest in them. centre on finding out about them rather than just telling them about you. Follow these principles and you’ll be well on your way to a good relationship!